I asked God to humble me, with a shaken and soft spoken voice, because I knew He would deliver what is asked according to his word, through prayer and belief.
–> I was then presented with a choice….
To be: worldly and live in the flesh, OR to live in the spirit and be led by God.
In my flesh, I could put on a mask and pretend like everything is “okay,” OR allow God to take me through a healing process of personal reflection from deep within. I could hold on to the obsession of fame, OR be held by the infamous God. I could use my job title as my identity, OR have my identity be found in Him. Ultimately, I could easily conform to who this world thinks I should be, OR love how I was fearfully and wonderfully made and renew my mind through his word and promises.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is…
His good, pleasing and perfect will.
Fighting against my flesh and the way the world wanted me to be, created a battlefield in my mind. I began living in fear, intimidated by the words of people. My mind was deceived into believing the world had my best interest at heart and that was when I felt like I lost everything.
For God does not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
The words of the world left me feeling lost in pain with a sense of being rejected, less than, and unworthy. These thoughts in my mind took over my entire being and crippled my perception. While in this vulnerable season, the enemy immediately took control of my mind telling me that I had “nothing” and was “nothing”.
God revealed something that turned my confusion into clarity and my resentment into peace.
Through my emptiness, He provided everlasting love and truth. Through my brokenness, He provided light and understanding. In the darkness when I could not see, my shattered pieces slowly started mending together solely by the hands of our powerful Creator.
Here I am beautifully, sweetly and humbly broken with this revelation…
I lost nothing and gained everything.
We are never too far gone, too broken or too messy for God to bring us back to His purpose and plan. It is in God’s plan for His promises to come to pass because He is faithful and powerful to deliver. This is why we can worship and never lose hope in our Lord. Let’s keep trusting, keep our light, and stay in prayer with the one who cares.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.
God loves you.