Silver Ring Thing

So there he was, and there was I…well pieces of me anyway, scattered on the devil’s playground like a thousand wood chips under a swing.

My heart divided, torn, on the edge, and my mind replaying the enemy’s lies over and over again.“You’re a waste of a woman to not use your body, you’ll be single forever and no man will wait for you. How pathetic of you to wear a purity ring and actually believe in such a stupid thing.”

I was confused on whether I was the problem and to blame, or if this was a trap from the enemy, using his evil schemes and catching a thrill by pulling my strings.

From being weighed down by the expectations of the the entertainment business as an NFL cheerleader and hearing society scream, “Remember sex sells, you’re nothing but an object to be used just like a thing.” To men coming up to me saying, “Seriously…you think I’d date you when it’s sex that you refuse to bring.”

Here I am, on my knee’s, shaking, crying out, battling a decision…Do I stay true and walk away alone tonight believing in the words of Jesus Christ the King, or do I sell my soul to fit in with the crowd by being held and “loved” through a drunken night- just to wake up burned by the shameful and regretful morning sun- making it’s mark with a stab and a sting?

How did I get here, what happened to always “staying true,” why am I thinking about compromising my morals, and when did this thing between me and the enemy start with a burning flame but now a real-life tempting fling?

The bars and clubs was where I met this man, so tall and handsome, his lips and voice were like dripping honey and he would use it persuade and sing. We would dance the night away and he would whisper lyrics into my ear hoping that soon, I would become weak and not only take off the clothes I wear, but also to never again wear my purity ring. 

I prayed, “God, if you are there, why is my faith in you running thin, where is your strength during my weakness, why is my mind playing tricks on me, since when did the cross around my neck lose value and turn into just a piece of jewelry I wear for some bling, and how come these days I idol something over you…which is to be accepted and loved by a man more than anything.”

I cried out, “For 26 years, I’ve worn and believed in your words on my True Love Waits ring, but yet, you leave me to be overlooked, left out and mocked. God! Don’t you remember when my secret hiding place wasn’t behind the darkness of this fake mask I wear, but in-fact, under the shadow of your all powerful wing?!”

So there he was, and there was I…well, pieces of me anyway, scattered on the devil’s playground like a thousand wood chips under a swing.

My heart divided, torn, on the edge, and my mind replaying the enemy’s lies over and over again.

In this moment, with tear filled eyes, insecurities rising, and feeling the pressure of slipping off my purity ring… I was fading and face to face with a decision…to keep trusting in God and His promises or to turn my back on the word, conform into the patterns of this world, and have the enemy be to whom I cling.

 

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So there he was, and there was I…well, pieces of me anyway, scattered in the hands of God like a thousand wood chips under a swing. 

In this moment, with tear filled eyes, mercy and grace rising…I was face to face with the glory of the Alpha, the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end, the Almighty God and He was molding me, guiding me back to His truth with such care and love even though all I had was a “Father, please forgive me for doubting you” to bring.

My heart no longer divided, nor torn, nor on the edge, this was when my mind found peace while replaying the Lord’s truth over and over again.

“My special girl, you are not a waste. I never intended you to conform into this world’s patterns and fashions. It is not about what you look like on the outside, but more so of who you are in your very core. You are far above rubies, hand-selected, treasured, and a bright light. A proverbs 31 woman is who I created you to be. Now share this light within you and like the wings of angels let your voice be courageous, let your voice be heavenly and never have any doubt to soar above this spiritual war.”

The spirit continued, “How beautiful and strong of you to believe in a marriage of ministry and purpose. Don’t give up on me, for I will never give up on you nor leave or forsake you. You are not pathetic to believe, in-fact, you are different to realize sex is meant to be more than just a casual everyday thing.”

I know now, I am NOT a problem or to blame- but a protected purpose being covered not by darkness, but by the shadow of God’s all powerful wing. What a graceful blessing.

Once fully seeking attention and fame, I tried serving two masters by having God in my heart, while flirting with the world and adding flames towards the enemy as if he was a hot summer fling…and trust me, believing and seeking validation through the world’s empty promises left scars and I’m still reminded of it’s painful sting.

Here I am, taking off this mask of a false perception, definitely less impressive…but this is me, and I’m not apologizing. Now, no longer trapped behind the enemy’s deception, manipulation or intimidation, I vowed to be mindful of things above and with my whole heart sing and cling to the one and only true thing.

I chose to exchange my identity of fame for obedience to God’s way. I chose to walk away from the world and walk towards the word and for that I am thankfully praising and worshiping Jesus Christ the King, who has a perfect plan, perfect timing, and loves you and I more than anything.

So there he was, and there was I…well, pieces of me anyway, scattered in the hands of God like a thousand wood chips under a swing.

In this moment, with tear filled eyes, mercy and grace rising…I was face to face with the glory of the Alpha, the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end, the Almighty God and He was molding me, guiding me back to His truth with such care and love even though all I had was a “Father, please forgive me for doubting you” to bring. After all of this, the many heartaches, trials I faced and almost giving up, I still hold belief in True Love Waits and know it’s more than just a silver ring.

 

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You, yes you, the beautifully broken, vulnerable, soft, yet strong amazing woman reading this… You ARE a protected purpose! Your heart and body are to be loved unconditionally and cherished. You are not your mistakes, you are not your past, and you are not what has been done to you.

Who you are in the eyes and heart of God is the only standing truth! 

You.

You, are so much more than you realize.

It’s not too late and you’re not too far to turn and walk towards God’s way. The enemy likes holding you down by saying “well you already made mistakes, so why not just keep making them?” That’s condemnation!!! God says just because you have sinned, doesn’t mean you have to live in sin!

Oh, and by the way ladies, that man left you because he was going to steal your conviction… THANK GOD! 

That other man couldn’t “deal” with you because he was going to distract you from God’s vision… THANK GOD!

Those guys who mock you and those girls who lie on you… PRAISE GOD!

He says for this, you are blessed. We can choose to hear and listen to the voices of many or choose to hear, listen and follow the voice of God.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Matthew 5:11 

But you belong to God, my dear. You have already won victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world. Those people belong to this world, so they speak from the world’s viewpoint, and the world listens to them.

1 John 4:4-5

I have told you these things, so that in me, you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

Our worldly watch may say “single,” but our unwavering walk says “purpose.” Our walk as a single woman is more important than dating just to fill a void. Hear me loud and clear on this one…  part of wisdom, is knowing where you are weak so you don’t have to be so strong. In our weakness God is strong, YES AND AMEN, but that doesn’t mean you keep going to that weakness, adding flames to it, and expect to not get burned.

I would rather have the future promises of the Lord fill me up, rather the hands of some regular dude. Y’all with me?!

There is nothing we can or can’t do that will make God love us more or less. So it’s not about striving for perfection, or thinking someone who is virgin is better than someone who isn’t (or vise-versa).

Walking in purity is more than just abstaining from the physical. It’s about the renewing in every part of you. Walking in purity doesn’t give us first line dibs or puts us on the top of God’s list for getting us the perfect husband. It also doesn’t make God owe us anything. For this is just the Lord’s way and the best way as protection over our mind, heart and soul. God searches our heart, He knows the real reasons why we wait.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9

It’s not easy, but it will be worth it.

YOU are worth it.

Now, let’s stand tall, free of shame, rid of the enemy’s lies, and walk with unshakable faith. Choosing empathy over judgement, so we can rise above and uplift each other knowing for sure we will leave an impact behind.

Sincerely cheering for my sisters- in- Christ,

Kristan Ann Ware

I love you all.

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4 Comments

  1. This was beautiful, even for me, a guy, your BROTHER in Christ, Kevin, who sent you a letter earlier this evening (a blessed Friday) via your web site. Thank you for sharing your gifts, experiential insights and your great ability to express yourself (you type very well, no typos and good spelling!), and for being such an example of patience to so many!
    Kevin

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      1. You’re welcome, Kristan Ann, and I thank YOU for your personal response and for sharing the details of the challenges in your life in such as helpful way to others. I noticed that you enjoy reading Christian motivational books: I am a writer of inspirational fiction and non-fiction, having developed a unique Bible study introduction method which I call The Formatrix Criterion Paradigm, or The Criterion for short, a group of seven creation stewardship-oriented teaching commands of Jesus. I am a born again, very Biblically-literate Christian Catholic whose ministry and mission is to the lost children of the Catholic Church, most of whom are Biblically illiterate, our clergy having neglected for centuries to instruct us to DAILY study and integrate within every aspect of our lives the Word of God, especially beginning with the teachings of Jesus Christ. In 1988 I was inspired to develop this Criterion when I was reading Scripture and praying; I noticed the singular Biblical instruction implicitly given by His Blessed Mother to each of Jesus’ disciples down through the centuries via the Bible, saying “Do whatever Jesus tells you to do” (John 2:5, paraphrased.) I then studied the red lettered words of what-all Jesus commanded us to do and discerned seven key commands which He (Our King and Lord) gave to us, and I recognized that within each of the seven contained a different resource which we each are CAPABLE of stewarding (using, etc.) namely our minds (and the faculties thereof), all knowledge, free will, our bodies (and the experiential suffering and pleasure thereof), mammon (or money and all that in which it can be morally invested), civil liberty and personal role(s) of influence: However we are not equally endowed at birth with equal measures of these resources, warranting by God’s will and Jesus’ teachings that “of those who are given much, much is required:” (Luke 12:48) “Much” can mean either material resources or Biblical knowledge. And so I integrate this Criterion within each of my books as a way to evangelartly evangelize Readers. So if you have any interest in viewing any of my books (9 nonfiction and 3 novels and more in progress) which I have written as a means to try to reach Catholics with the Word integrated within the context of Catholic cultural expressions, that is, evangelartly, meeting people with the Word on their ground of morally expedient cultural expressions in the same way you were employing cheer-leading to Cheer the Lord and make Him known to “lost sheep”, do please feel free to view my books via my web site, evangelart.com, which provides cut and paste links to view my books and their descriptions at Amazon; or you prefer to simply look at Amazon/KevinLandry or -KevinRLandry where most if not all of my titles can be viewed. You need not purchase any (and some I need to re-edit actually) but if you wish I will be happy to send you via email attachments PDF copies which you can study free of charge. So thank you, Kristin Ann for reading this message in any case (you may not have time left to read any of my books!), and I pray God will bless you with continual wisdom on how to steward your universal resources in the service of God and the eternally common good of all!
        Kevin (Landry) 4/16/18

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  2. Hmm …. what to say when my words could never bring justice to the joy in knowing a gracious and beautiful lady like you walks humbly and steadfastly in the truthful paths of God ! It brings tears of heartfelt joy to my eyes to know this secret beauty that belongs to you ! Don’t let your heart falter my friend or the ways of this world change you ever. Kristan Ann
    Sincerely : David

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