I let them judge me.
I let them lie on me.
I let them discredit me.
I let them misunderstand me.
And I let it hurt.
I let my bleeding heart pump through every painful memory, every painful word.
I kept on chugging, chugging the pain, fighting the human urge to spit it back out, to numb it, to let it somehow become a poison.
I kept it in and let it serve it’s purpose, and it hurt…it hurt like hell, but hell stayed within me and that’s exactly where I wanted hell to end…within me.
I couldn’t dream of making others hurt like I hurt.
Instead I cried my eyes out.
Instead I poured my heart out.
Instead I prayed my voice out.
Instead I mustered up all that was left of me, breathed full breaths, and awakened my once timid and silenced voice.
No, my tears didn’t stop.
No, my pain didn’t stop.
And no, my prayers definitely didn’t stop.
I let the pain take it’s teachable course, respecting the process of my story now beginning at rock bottom… a very dark “end of myself” kinda feeling, yet a quite safe and steady foundation where extraordinary impacts are created.
My attachment to their judgements, their lies and their opinions suffocating my identity was no more.
It was no more, because I was free.
Free to let go, free to tell my story, free to be me…all of me, unapologetically me.
So, to you, the beautifully becoming, gracefully broken, purposefully unraveling human reading this:
Your pain, the long hours in the fetal position, the days that feel like two steps back, this journey of courageously facing the dark parts is not a weakness…you’re coming home. This can be lonely for sure but let them do or say whatever it is they will do and say, you just remain…
Remain the course.
Remain in your light.
Remain in your authenticity.
Remain in your purity of heart.
Remain, even if standing alone, remain…
Remain in forgiveness.
Remain in hope.
Remain in truth.
Remain in LOVE.
Nothing and no one in this world is worth you doubting your self worth because you are worth it to the I AM, the all powerful, creator of the universe. The God who loves and leaves nothing unloved.
You are loved.
I let them judge me.