The other day

I had a dream the other day.
I saw Jesus walking on Earth and a huge crowd ran up to Him.
But me..
I didn’t run toward Him.
Why?
Well, with tears on my pillow case, that’s the same question I’m asking.

I heard their worship and witnessed their love as they cried and bowed at His feet.
I too felt love. My soul matched with it’s one true soul mate and I took in the freshest, biggest breath of relief I ever breathed and yet.. I’m not sure why I didn’t run toward Him.

Maybe I felt too broken, not enough, not capable of the moment and I overcompensated by creating distance, maybe I’ve gotten use to imploding my emotions, maybe I didn’t want to take away from someone else or maybe I had confidence that He would meet me right where I was.

I’m uncertain about the “why,” but the belief that I wasn’t enough hit pretty real.

Even still, beyond the crowd, He saw me.
Of course He saw me, there’s no hiding in His presence. I mean we can definitely spend our life trying, but we will eventually be found.
Well, He found me on the tree limb I chose to sit on while watching it all.
He came to me, looked in my tear filled eyes and gently asked why I was crying.
I felt like He already knew the answer, but I spoke anyway.. “In Your presence I can’t hide- I’m immensely exposed and as you look at me, I know you’re thinking how beautiful I am… and you really believe it.”

For in that moment, my insecurities weren’t annoyingly shouting, I didn’t overthink my facial expressions, my past didn’t shame me of all my sins and I didn’t question His love.
I just remember the full confidence of being in His presence and knowing He saw me as truly beautiful, just as I was.


I had a dream the other day.
I saw Jesus walking on Earth and a huge crowd ran up to Him.
But me..
I didn’t run toward Him.
Why?
Well, with tears on my pillow case, that’s the same question I’m asking.

I’m uncertain about the “why,” but the belief that I wasn’t enough hit pretty real.
But maybe me believing I wasn’t enough was partly true.. because it’s fact that I will NEVER be enough, unless God comes too.
This… this is for certain.

However big, however small… invite God to be part of it all.❤️
373223CC-907A-4ECF-9378-8EE5ABBA8CFD

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s