This Is You

Obeying human authority was my duty but it could have killed me.
… the exhaustion of my divided loyalty between God and the world.
… the looking to my right and left instead of fixing my eyes on my Maker.
… the resentment towards convictions considering it as a curse.
… the falling for the American dream rather than surrendering to God’s dream.
… the losing of my identity and purpose.
… the living off of borrowed faith.
Obeying human authority was my duty but it could have killed me.

I still remember the shaken sound of my voice when I finally said out loud “It’s broken.” The system, my faith, my bones, my job, me, all of it… broken. It was the realization that borrowed faith can only last but for so little and it’s unstable foundation didn’t stand a chance against the pressures of the world.

You see, when and only when faith is tested and trialed, does it grow into your own pure and genuine faith… leaving behind anything borrowed, masked, scripted and guarded.
Please don’t run from this.
Please don’t resist this.
Please don’t miss this.
This is the moment…
This is the moment you remain, with every ounce of strength you have left, remain… yes, even in the aching brokenness, remain.

This is you patiently enduring.
This is you humbly overcoming.
This is you fixing your eyes on your Maker.
This is you choosing unwavering faith over fickle faith.
This is you strengthening the hope of salvation.
This is you caring more about your character than your reputation.
This is you choosing not to conform to the patterns of this world.
This is you understanding that you are not an objectified side piece but a prized possession.
This is you letting “Glory to God” be your life anthem.
This is you counting it all joy, trusting that more can be learned from life’s trials than from it’s triumphs.
This… this is you being saved by grace, brokenness and all.
This… this is you coming alive in Jesus Christ.

There’s a difference between being the “good girl” and being a God girl. One is a people pleaser and the other is a Kingdom seeker.
When God calls, He may ask you to do things that don’t make logical sense and that you’re not ready for. Will you choose disobedience trying to please the eyes on you, or will you choose obedience focusing your eyes on the Kingdom?

Obeying human authority was my duty but obeying God is my purpose and this… this is what saved me.

❤️❤️

This blog is rooted from my reading in James 1. I use to pray for a peaceful life, believing that if my circumstances were perfect, that’s where my peace came from.

Now, I know peace comes from Jesus who is within.

It may seem terrifying at first to pray for God to test your faith, but it truly is a one of a kind process. To grow until your faith is in God and God alone, is beautifully freeing.

When God is ready to move in your life, you may feel unready because He may ask you to do things that don’t make logical sense. Will you answer the call, even if no materialistic blessing is guaranteed? Will Jesus alone be enough for you?

I will admit, Jesus use to not be enough for me… and praying this… admitting this to the King of King’s broke my heart. But, I didn’t want to stay there… in full transparency, I cried my heart out admitting He wasn’t enough for me, but that I longed for Him to be enough. I even prayed that He, being a good God and all, withhold all blessings. I prayed for Him to block everything good He had planned for me until He searched my heart through and deep and was able to purely see that He was enough. I prayed for Him to create within me a pure heart with genuine, unwavering faith. I wanted to seek His Kingdom. I wanted more convictions, most tests, more trials. I no longer wanted an easy life, I wanted the life that brought me closer to Him. However long it took, I was okay with it because when it all fades… and it will, I wanted Jesus to be solely and completely enough. 

….

…..

… I learned that I will never be enough, unless Jesus comes first.

~

He is enough for me and He can be for you too. It takes the testing of our faith and allowing God to refine and mold us to become who He created us to be for a unique purpose. You are not too far away from this moment. And do not be afraid during this process and journey of great faith, for He will be with you wherever you go.

There is no great faith, without great trials.

And you… you are made to be great.

Allow Jesus to be number one.

Come home…

Come home…

#Iamsecond 

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